Welcome December. I'm not happy about you.

I'm in total denial that it's December.  And I am in no mood at all for Christmas.  No. Mood. At. All.  Not sure why.  I think one reason may be that we've decided to cut waaay back on our Christmas spending this year.  Gifts is my "giving" love language - I spell LOVE "g-i-f-t" - and so to me, less presents = no fun.  But reading books like Jen Hatmaker's Interrupted and Will Davis's Enough have totally messed me up and ruined me forever for the kind of over-the-top gift buying I used to do. Sigh.

Of course, it also doesn't help that the weather around here has been sunny and in the high 70's for the past several weeks.  We've done zero decorating, very little shopping, and I can't even muster up my usual excitement for doing our Jesse Tree or reading Jotham's Journey.  Even going to my friend Katie's annual cookie swap didn't do the trick.  Bah humbug.

But, regardless of whether I'm in the Christmas spirit or not, there are a few things I'm determined to accomplish this month.  First of all, in the spirit of having more than enough of everything we could ever need (ala Will Davis), we are having the Great Family Cleanout of 2012.  Every day in the month of December (doubling up after any days we miss), each person in our family will be choosing 1-3 items to give away or throw away.  Clothes, toys, books, CDs, jewelry, kitchen wares, movies, home decor....everything is fair game. 

At this moment in time, Jacob literally has a closet full of clothes, a dresser full of clothes, and a dirty clothes hamper full of clothes.  That's just ridiculous.  More than enough.  I have a drawer full of (albeit fake) jewelry that I hardly ever wear.  Ridiculous.  Shoes, I must admit, are not my weakness, so I'll probably be keeping what I have.  Same with purses (in fact, I'm not sure I even HAVE any purses other than the one I'm carrying right now).  But I'm quite certain there is a skirt or two or five that someone else should be enjoying.  And Kloe?  Don't even get me started.

Another thing I committed to doing this month is our Candlelight Christmas.  I love this tradition so much, and we only get to do it every other year, on the years when we're home for Christmas.  Maybe we should do it early this year - maybe that would get me more in the Christmas spirit?

Well, here's one thing I'm happy about December for - Downton Abbey reruns!  Even though we've watched seasons 1 and 2 about three times each now, knowing that this rerun of season 2 is leading up to the debut of season 3 just makes me all kinds of happy.  We've waited a whole year for this!  Are you a Downton groupie?

Here's to a more joyful December!

Katie

Last summer when I was in Uganda, one of the ministries we had the privilege of working with was Amazima, a ministry started in 2008 by Katie Davis, who was 19 years old at the time. I had been introduced to Katie's blog a number of years ago and was so excited that we would have a chance to work with her ministry and possibly even meet her!

Our day at Amazima was "the day" for me.

Let me back up. A few days before - in fact, I think it was the day before - several of my teammates suddenly started to seem tired, overwhelmed...."done". I remember Mike, one of our team leaders, saying that the time would come for each of us. The time when everything we were seeing and experiencing would start to overwhelm us and we would have to pull back a bit, spend some time alone in prayer and introspection, and sort-of regroup before we could move on.

The day we spent at Amazima Ministries was that day for me. I remember sitting on the playground, holding a little boy who was probably about 2 years old. He had been standing in the middle of the playground crying….just standing there….occasionally fighting off older kids as they tried to steal an unripened mango out of his hand....and I felt so helpless because I didn't know why he was crying or how to help him. He didn't understand English and was skeptical of this strange white person speaking strange words to him. Finally I just picked him up and he laid his little head on my shoulder and fell asleep. Poor sweet baby. I think he just wanted someone to hold him. He was LITTLE, and he was tired and hungry, and just wanted to be held, like any baby wants his mama when he's tired and hungry.

And so I picked him up and held him while he slept.......while HUNDREDS of children swarmed around us, playing on the playground, gnawing on green, unripe mangos that they knocked out of the trees with giant, long sticks.

I sat rocking that sweet baby, and when he stopped crying, that's when I started.

The enormity of the need in that place - the hundreds and hundreds of children, many without families, or some who had families that lived in poverty more unimaginable than anything you've ever seen - suddenly it became more than I could handle. The apparent hopelessness of their situation overcame me, and I couldn't stop crying. I sat on that playground thinking, "Why are we here, God? What's the point? We can't help these children - we can't help ANY of them! There's no point in us being here. Their lives will be exactly the same when we leave here as they were before we came. We’re not making any difference. Why are we even here? What are we doing?"

And I'm not sure that I was completely wrong. I'm not sure that their lives WERE any different because of our being there. But I do know that one little boy (actually, many little boys and girls) had someone to hold him that day. He had a soft, warm, safe place to close his exhausted little eyes and sleep for just a few minutes, without having to worry that his beautiful, prized, life-giving mango would be stolen if he closed his eyes for a minute.

And here's what else I know. Katie Davis is that soft, warm, safe place for these kids (and many of their families) every single day. She didn't quit when the enormity of it all overwhelmed her. She didn't give up and turn back. She's there, serving these precious people every single day, being the hands and feet of Jesus to them, doing all that she can and more to make their lives a little less hopeless.

I did get to meet Katie that day. Just briefly. Just long enough to say "thank you for letting us come" and "I'm so inspired by you" (which she would hate :) ) and have my picture taken with her. It was sort of surreal to meet someone on the other side of the world who you've been reading about for so many years.

And then not long after I came home I heard that Katie was about to publish a book. And something weird happened. I didn't want to read it. I don't know why, I just didn't.

And so I sort of avoided it. For months. I clicked away from blogs that raved about it. I think maybe I looked it up on Amazon and read the blurb about it, but then I clicked away from that too. I didn’t chime in on Facebook when all my teammates were excitedly discussing it, saying “I met Katie and she’s awesome!”

But then one Wednesday night I dropped my kids off at church, planning to go to Barnes and Noble, find a quiet table in a corner, and work on my Bible study homework. Well, it turned out all the tables were full, and so what else is a girl to do with an hour to kill in Barnes and Noble and nowhere to sit? I started browsing. And don’t you know, there was Katie’s book. Hmm.

I picked it up, read the first page or two, and put it back. I browsed around for a while, looking at other books that caught my attention, but it was like Katie’s book was calling to me the whole time. I wasn’t even really paying attention to the other books I looked at. My mind was really on her book. So finally I went back and picked it up, found a place to sit down (at the table in the kids’ section because everything else was taken), and started reading. Half way through the first chapter I was crying. Because Katie loves Uganda. And now I love Uganda too.

Well, all the sudden it was time to go pick up the kids, and of course I HAD to have her book now (wishy-washy is what I am), so I quickly paid, zoomed off to pick up the kids, and couldn’t wait to get home to pick up where I’d left off.

*
*
*

No, I didn’t.

Even though I couldn’t WAIT to read more, I also couldn’t bear to pay $25 for that book at Barnes & Noble. I’m cheap like that. Actually, I would have waited for the paperback that’s coming out in a couple of months, but after crying my way through the first chapter, I didn’t think I could wait that long.

But I did wait until the next week when my 33% off coupon at Lifeway was good. :) And then I spent every spare moment reading about Katie’s life of surrender to God’s call, nodding and smiling when she talked about the ubiquitous red dirt and the terrible roads and the crazy drivers….like being there for 2 weeks somehow made me a local.

Wow. I so wish I was an eloquent writer and could aptly explain how much I loved this book. I sucked it in like breathing air. You all know that God has somehow – for some reason that I COMPLETELY don’t understand – put an inexplicable love in my heart for Uganda and its people. And reading Katie’s book was like reading about that one special place – that one certain thing – that you just love with your whole heart and can’t get enough of (not talking about spiritual things here….just, you know, quilting, or cooking, or Ireland, or history….or whatever that thing is for you).

I would so love for every single one of you to read her book and tell me what you thought. I know that’s not going to happen, but I wish it would. :) You know how it is when you want your passion to be everyone’s passion? And you want everyone to love the same things you love? Of course life would be incredibly boring if we all only loved what everyone else loved, but if you ever have the inclination, I would love for you to read Kisses from Katie and get a glimpse of this one little corner of my heart.

And not only to read about Uganda, but to read the true-life, happening-right-now story of a young(!) woman who has totally, thoroughly, and completely surrendered her life to God’s plan for her – a plan that looked totally, thoroughly, and completely different than anything she had ever imagined – and has found her ultimate joy in laying down her life for the One who laid down His life for her.

Please, watch this to hear a little more about Katie, from Katie.



It’s an awesome read, y’all. If you decide to read it, please let me know. I'd love to hear what you think.

From my bookshelf.

Wow, it's been a really long time since I posted about what I'm reading.  Probably because it takes me a really long time to read anything. :)  But the book I'm reading now has pulled me out of book-posting-semi-retirement.

BEST. BOOK. EVER.



Seriously, I can't remember when I've read a book that I have highlighted and starred and written in and underlined the way I have this one (and I do that a lot in books).  Like, I can't put it down at night, and I stay up way too late reading it the way I would a good novel.  Maybe it's just speaking to where I am right now (ya think?)  Of course, it didn't hurt that he mentioned Uganda in the 2nd paragraph.  It may not mean nearly as much to you, but OH MY.  I was crying by page 9.  :)  If you are wanting to go deeper in your faith, trust God for more than you ever have before, and walk with Him in a whole new way, I highly recommend this book.

The impetus for the book is one line that Steven Furtick (author) read in Jim Cymbala's book Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire:

I despaired at the thought that my life might slip by without seeing God show himself mightily on our behalf.

A few of my favorite, give-me-whiplash-from-nodding-my-head-so-hard quotes so far:

* Could it be that God intends for us to have the same kind of audacious faith [as Joshua] - the kind of faith that dares to believe God for the IMPOSSIBLE - as a normal way of life? (p. 15)
* How radically different would modern American youth culture be if we stopped raising our kids to survive their world and started empowering them with a vision to change it? (p. 33)
* ...the extraordinary presence and purpose of God will burn brightly in the life of anyone willing to be set on fire. (p. 44)
*When you reflect on God's vision for your life, you should be overwhelmed. (p. 72)
* Complacency isn't very comfortable in the presence of audacity. (p. 91)
* Authentic faith doesn't end in a positive mental state. (!) It plays out in total obedience based on the sure Word of God. (p. 117)

And I love this....
*The God of the Bible can do whatever He pleases. And what pleases Him is to show off His power for His glory and renown. So give Him the opportunity. Dream God-worthy dreams. Pray faith-fueled prayers. Live a life that can be explained only by the existence of a God who is infinitely great. (p. 99)

Man.

I think when I'm done I may read it again.

And if I ever get beyond this book, look at the stack that I have waiting for me...

*grin*

I'm sure I'll throw a couple of fiction titles in the mix there somewhere, so hopefully I can manage to complete this stack before I turn 50.

I got a great idea from Holly over at Marathon Bird to keep a list of all the books you read this year. Isn't that fun? I usually have a list of books I WANT to read....and the kids and I usually keep a list of the books they read in the summer....but I thought it would be fun to keep a list of the books I read this year. I'm sure it will be a dismally short list, but still fun. Hoping to get one up in my sidebar soon. :)

What are you reading?  What do you hope to read this year?

Six for Saturday

1. I know, Halloween was SO last month, but since when did that ever stop me? :)

Who's the rootin-est, tootin-est cowgirl in the wild, wild west? Could it be....























Why, no! It's Miss Kloe, wearing Jacob's too-small chaps and vest and Daddy's hat, but she was happy and so I was too. :) And Jacob was beyond-thrilled to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. I told someone that he was a storm trooper....boy, do I stand corrected! Can you see his padawan braid? (it was a braided leather bracelet I brought him from Uganda) So cute. :)



































We get to dress up twice most years since we go to the fall festivals at Jacob's school and at church. And most years, the kids go as something different for each one! For the school festival, Kloe decided not to dress up this year (too big now that's she's in middle school, I suppose), but Jacob finally got to wear his fighter-pilot costume. We actually bought it at a resale shop 2 years ago even though it was way too big, just because he loves to play dress up so much. He's had a blast with it all this time, and I'm sad that it actually fits now, because that means he won't be able to wear it much longer. This is his fighter-pilot face. Doesn't he look so serious (and handsome)? :)

2. Why, oh why, is this the scene on Kloe's bedroom floor every. single. morning? sigh. And why exactly does it matter so much? I don't know, but for some reason it does.























3. I was excited to see Dum-Dums in the half price basket at Wal*Mart the day after Halloween because the kids in Uganda LOVE them! They were marked $2.40-something per bag, so I picked up 2 for my trip next summer. When I got to the register, they rang up at 99 cents each! I was so bummed I hadn't picked up more.

4. Pumpkin Spice lattes are back! Woohoo! I'm usually not a fan of pumpkin flavor (other than pie), but I had a coupon for a free one of these last year so I tried one and loved it. After that I picked up some pumpkin-flavored coffee creamer at the store, but it was nasty. In fact, I only used it once and ended up throwing the bottle away. But YAY for pumpkin spice at Starbucks! Get 'em while they last!

5.Just received this book in the mail from PaperBackSwap, and I am LOVING it. I'm only on chapter one, but I've already got it all highlighted-up.

I love this quote from the book. It's referring to Deuteronomy 24:19, which says, "When you are harvesting in your field and you overlook a sheaf, do not go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow, so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.

Tom Davis says, "The Hebrew word for blessing is baruch. It implies being hunted down and pursued by the favor of the Lord.....God promises that if we take care of the needs of the fatherless, WHATEVER we put our hand to will be blessed."(emphasis added)

Incredible.

6. After this incident a little over a year and a half ago, we had a monitored alarm system installed at our house. A couple of weeks ago, the kids and I had JUST left the house when my phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognize, so I didn't answer it. Not 10 seconds later The Mister called me in a bit of a panic. Turns out that call I had ignored was the alarm company. Seems our alarm had been activated through a breach in the back door, and the police were en route to our house. Oh my déjà vu.

Immediately I knew what had happened. Jacob had been outside in the backyard playing, and we were leaving the house in a hurry to get somewhere. I called him in and we headed straight out the door through the garage. It was a pretty windy day (what? in West Texas?), and he didn't get the back door shut good. The wind blew it open, and wah-la - the alarm system works!

We were only a couple of blocks from the house when The Mister called me, and by the time we got back home there were already TWO police cars at our house! Wow! The officer who talked to me seemed to be none-too-happy about being called out on a false alarm, but HELLO, would you rather it had been the real thing?

Not exactly the way I'd like to have our system tested, but I'm happy to know it works the way it's supposed to!

From my bookshelf

It's been a really long time since I posted about anything I've been reading. When we were on the cruise I felt like a freak, having never read a single Karen Kingsbury book. I'm telling you, it was like a Karen Kinsgbury groupie fest on that ship! In fact, I kind of think I had intentionally never read any of her books, just because of all the hoopla about her. I'm a little stubborn that way. Well, after I actually met Karen on the cruise, she was so warm and friendly and down-to-earth and wonderful that just being around her made me want to read her books.

So when we got home, I buckled down and forced myself to finish up this book, even though it was eating my lunch:



and after I made it through that, I was in serious need of some lighter fiction fare. Perfect time to try out Karen's books. On the cruise, she gave everyone a copy of Book 4 in her Above the Line series (great marketing strategy, huh?), so of course - just like she planned - I had to go out and buy books 1 through 3, right? Luckily I found all of them on the bargain table at Mardel. :)



Well, let me just say, after book one in that series I was almost ready to join the groupie club myself. Almost. I slurped up all four books in the series, and then my mom gave me the 4-book series that came before Above the Line. I read the first one of those, but then decided I wanted to start at the very beginning of the Baxter tales, which includes something like 22 books. So, to pass the time while I'm trying to locate the very first book in the very first 5-book group of the series, I'm reading this as a little easy-reading passtime:



HA! Just kidding. :) I'm actually reading this....



while I'm scouring PaperBackSwap for Karen's early books.

What are you reading these days?

Radical, Ch. 1

I actually wrote this post last week, but never published it because I couldn't quite seem to get it to say what I wanted it to. But after writing and rewriting, and typing and deleting and trying again, I decided I'm probably never going to get it to sound just right, so I'm publishing it anyway. So here goes.

In my own little world it hardly ever rains.
I've never gone hungry, always felt safe.
I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet,
In my own little world, population: me.

I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church;
I throw a twenty in the plate, but I never give 'til it hurts.
And I turn off the news when I don't like what I see.
Yeah, it's easy to do when it's population: me.

What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose
I could be living right now,
Outside my own little world?

Stopped at a red light, looked out my window.
I saw a cardboard sign said, "Help this homeless widow,"
And just above that sign was the face of a human.
I thought to myself, God, what have I been doing?

So I rolled down the window and I looked her in the eye.
Oh, how many times have I just passed her by?
I gave her some money, then I drove on through
And my own little world reached population: two.

What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose
I could be living right now,
Outside my own little world?
My own little world.

Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours.
Give me open hands and open doors.
Put Your light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me.

What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose
That I could be living right now?
I don't want to miss what matters,
I wanna be reaching out.
Show me the greater purpose
So I can start living right now.
Outside my own little world.
My Own Little World by Matthew West

My brain is mush.

I've been putting off writing this post about the first chapter of David Platt's book, Radical, because I can't seem to form a coherent thought about it.

This is so much what I have been feeling God pulling me toward (the concept, not the book) for the past few years -- but haven't been able to put into words -- that all I have been able to find myself doing is shouting, "YES! EXACTLY!" (ok, not shouting) and alternately whimpering, "Oh, Jesus, help me."

See? Still not a coherent thought.

Remember all of these posts? It's been almost two years ago that I began hearing God whisper to me, "Do something." It's been even longer ago that I began to feel uneasy with the disconnect I was seeing between going to church and being the church. I've been talking to my sweet friend, Ashley, about it for longer than I can remember, and it seems like I'm always saying, "I don't know what it is. I can't put my finger on it. I don't know what to DO. Maybe it's just me."

And I opened this book, and there it was in black and white.

This is it. This is what I've been trying to put my finger on, and David Platt has put his finger right smack on it. I'm ready to stop just going to church and start being the church. I want to stop deluding myself by being only a hearer of the Word, and start being a doer (James 1:22). I want to stop merely saying I have faith, and start showing it by my actions (James 2:14). I'm ready to be done with the pretty, Americanized version of church, and be the body of Christ.

I desperately want to learn to offer my life as a living sacrifice, to GO and DO and GIVE and SERVE. But here's the rub. Here's the question David Platt is asking us to consider. And the one I really don't want to think about. Am I willing to give it all? Really, am I willing to literally lay down my life - to walk away from anything and everything I know - to follow Jesus? That's what the disciples did. They left their homes, their jobs, their families, their communities....everything that was familiar and comfortable and secure. Jesus called them to abandon their plans, their dreams, their possessions....and ultimately, themselves (paraphrased from p. 12). Do I want to serve Jesus that much?

Ok. Well. When you put it that way, um, probably not so much.

I was feeling all goody-goody about myself for all of my great desire to do something grand and self-sacrificing for God (how's that for hypocritical?), and then I read Ali's post about chapter one from the read-along. (Thanks, Ali. I needed to hear what you had to say.) I reallyreallyreally wanted to shamelessly shamefully copy the whole thing right here into my blog. Because Oh.My.GOSH. did she ever hit my big fat nail right on it's big fat head. But I know that's not nice bloggy etiquette - even if I gave her full credit - and so I'm just going to ask you to click on over there and read her amazing post. Please. Go ahead. Go now. I'll wait for you.

Did you go? In my not-able-to-form-a-coherent-thought confusion, let me just say ditto.

So.

Even though my Africa dream is a little bit different....handing out food in a food line, or helping build a clinic or a school....the basic premise is the same. I've realized it's really more about me than it is about Jesus. It's all about me. What I want to do for God. Where I want to go. How I want to help. Me me me. Gag.

Jesus, forgive me. I am so sorry that I've taken Your call to feed the poor and to serve those in need, to be Your hands and feet to a hurting, lonely, dying world, and turned it into a big fat freak show all about me. I'm so sorry. Please help me. I want to learn what it means to love You with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love my neighbor as myself. I want to love You so much that I'm willing to take up my cross daily and follow You. I pray that You would become greater, and I would become less, until it's all about You. I DO want to be Your hands and feet, to BE the church and not just play church. I want to be different. Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Radical

Beginning Tuesday, September 7, I'm going to be joining Marla over at MarlaTaviano.com in an online read-along of the book Radical by David Platt. (Go here to read more about it.) I know it's going to be life changing for a lot of people, and I'm hoping one of them will be me. Have you guys read this book yet? Heard of it? I'm hearing of it everywhere, and I'm taking those repeated hearings-of-it as an indication that I'm supposed to be reading it.

Here's a blurb from the back cover:

WHAT IS JESUS WORTH TO YOU?

It's easy for American Christians to forget how Jesus said his followers would actually live, what their new lifestyle would actually look like. They would, he said, leave behind security, money, convenience, even family for him. They would abandon everything for the gospel. They would take up their crosses daily...

BUT WHO DO YOU KNOW WHO LIVES LIKE THAT? DO YOU?

In Radical, David Platt challenges you to consider with an open heart how we have manipulated the gospel to fit our cultural preferences. He shows what Jesus actually said about being his disciple--then invites you to believe and obey what you have heard. And he tells the dramatic story of what is happening as a "successful" suburban church decides to get serious about the gospel according to Jesus.

Finally, he urges you to join in The Radical Experiment --a one-year journey in authentic discipleship that will transform how you live in a world that desperately needs the Good News Jesus came to bring.

Hear it from Mr. Platt himself:



I would love for you to join me - in the read-along and on the journey.

You could come over and sit on my new furniture, and we could have coffee and read. :)

From my bookshelf....

Just finished....



This was a really good book, but didn't include the detail I was looking for about the different kinds of fasts. I think the journal that goes along with the book includes those details, but I wasn't interested in doing the journal. Still, a good overview.

Just started....



I had planned on reading John Piper's A Hunger for God next, but felt like God was leading me toward this one instead. I'm excited about it. Who doesn't love Beth Moore? And this book is all about the extravagant love of Jesus for "the disciple whom [He] loved". (Jn. 13:23; 19:26; 21:7; 21:20) This sentence from the back cover grabbed my attention: "He was free to love because he was so utterly convinced he was loved." I think I could use some of that.

Not sure what's up next. I've recently had an influx of books from PaperBackSwap.com, and so my waiting list overfloweth! It's exciting to have a backlog of awesome books waiting for me. Here are a few of the jewels waiting on my nightstand. [In actuality, I don't have a nightstand on my side of the bed, so these are actually waiting on my bookshelf. :)]



By the way, does anyone know how to turn these photos into actual links to amazon? I can't figure out how to link photos....

And....sorry about those annoying boxes around the book photos. Don't know why those are there....that hasn't happened before.

From my bookshelf....

Recently finished reading....



This book was not at all what I expected. Not sure exactly what I expected, but this didn't seem to be it. It was, however, very good, and I especially liked his insights into the book of Deuteronomy (really) and LOVED his writing about the minor prophets.


Reading now....


This book is very good. I have been wanting to learn more about fasting for a long time. Even though I have fasted before, I always felt somehow that I was doing it "wrong". I'm only about half-way through, but so far I would recommend this book if you are interested in learning more about fasting.


Coming up next....



Still wanting to learn more.

Or maybe this one....



What are you reading?

From my bookshelf....

Just finished reading:


Reading now:


Up next (can't wait to get to this one):

She Did What She Could

I've been reading through the new book I picked up on Friday and trying to piece together what God is saying. If you've read my last couple of posts, you know that for almost a year now God has been saying to me over and over and over..."Do something." And you also know that I've been putting Him off by asking, "Do what, God, do what?"

Then on Friday I came across this book called She Did What She Could by Elisa Morgan.

As a side note, I wanted to let you know that after looking up the book online, I found out I actually have heard of Elisa Morgan....although I didn't realize it at the time. I have another one of her books called, "What Every Child Needs." It's very good, but it's been so many years since I've read it that I had completely forgotten it was by the same person.

This book centers around the woman in the Gospels who annointed Jesus' head with the jar of expensive perfume. Elisa Morgan makes the point that there weren't a lot of things a woman could have done in that day and age to show her love for Jesus, but this woman found the thing she could do, and did it. She didn't do everything she could have done, but she did what she could. And notice that the thing that she could do cost her a great deal. The jar she broke contained expensive perfume. Most likely part of her dowry.

And the point is....I can do that too. I can do what I can. Doing "what I can" doesn't mean I have to do everything....give everything....be the total solution. But it also doesn't mean taking the easy way out saying, "Well, that's all I can do!" It's not an excuse for doing less than I can. But it frees me up to act, when in the past I've been paralyzed either by the fear of doing the wrong thing, or by the guilt of not doing enough.

So after I bought this book on Friday, this past weekend was Parent Sunday at our church. Parents are invited to participate in kids church and kids classes with their children. Guess what their lesson was about? "I will take a risk to help others." hmmmm.... Part of the morning involved watching a short video about Queen Esther. How she took a risk to help her people. How SHE DID WHAT SHE COULD.

I'm telling you....it's EVERYWHERE

If you haven't read my post from Thursday, today's post will make more sense if you take a minute (or ten....sorry, it's a bit long) to go back and read it.

So, I wrote that post on Thursday.

Friday night, Hubby just happened to be out of town and I had planned to have dinner with a friend. My friend just happened to call around 5:30 saying she wasn't feeling well and thought she should stay home. I had already made plans to take Kloe and Jacob to my cousin's house - who they LOVE - for the evening, and I knew they would be hugely disappointed if I cancelled, so I just happened to decide that I'd go ahead and take them and spend an evening by myself (ahhhh....bliss!).

I dropped the kids off and, not knowing what else to do, headed for home. My route home just happened to pass right by Lifeway Christian Store, and I remembered there were some things in their sale flier that I had wanted to look at, so I just happened to stop in.

[Let me interrupt this post to say I spent an hour and a half at Lifeway, BY MYSELF, with no one hanging on me, no one fighting, no one pulling $5,000 (ok, maybe that's a minor exaggeration) breakable glass things off the shelf, no one saying, "Mom, can I have this? Mom, I want this! Mom, why can't I have this? Mom, can we go now? Mom, I'm tired. Mom, when can we leave? Mo-o-o-o-m!" Did I mention it was bliss?]

I was browsing aimlessly through the books, taking my sweet time, only looking at the ones with really cheap sale tags, and I just happened to notice this book called, She Did What She Could by Elisa Morgan. I had never heard of the book or the author before. Did you catch that? Never heard of 'em. I have no idea why I just happened to pick up that book in particular. The cover wasn't particularly intriguing. I wasn't being drawn by a familiar name like Beth Moore or Lysa TerKeurst. No idea. Totally random (yeah...).

I picked up the book and turned it over to read the back.

"Most of us care. We really do. We care about poverty and injustice, about orphans and the sick."

Now I was intrigued.

"And yet, weighed down by the everyday tasks of bringing home a paycheck, putting food on the table, and shuttling kids around, we question our ability to make a difference."

I started to feel....you know....that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach.

"Bombarded by one celebrity help-the-world-athon after another, we shrug our shoulders in futility and do absolutely nothing."

The feeling....the stomach feeling....was getting stronger.

I opened the book and started skimming through the introduction.

The author talked about how she had been watching a story on NBC Nightly News one night. A story about the abuse of mentally challenged adults in Serbia.

"I found myself standing in the middle of my family room, hands raised in the air, howling. Then a sob erupted, and tears started down my face."

She goes on to say that she is no stranger to tragedy, having witnessed her share of poverty, need, oppression, injustice. She didn't know why this one story would have impacted her in such a way.

"But something cracked me open that night, and like a foot jammed in a doorway, it wouldn't let me close back down."

And there they were.

Those two words....

Do something.

Seriously.

This small, previously unknown, sale-tagged book is now on my bedside table.

Thankful Thursday - Do Something with the Red Letters

I finally finished reading Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds, by Tom Davis. I guess you can tell it takes me a long time to finish a book. That's not just because I'm not the fastest reader on the block, but mostly because I only get to read in 2-3 minute snippets about 2 or 3 times a week. My only quiet reading time is the last few minutes of my day, right before I fall asleep...which usually happens about 3.2 minutes after I lay my head on the pillow. By the time I fall into bed every night I am so exhausted I can't read for long. And lots of nights I can't even manage the 2-3 minutes.

Being a working mom means there's no time during the day for doing laundry or running errands or picking up around the house or cleaning the bathtub or ironing or cleaning the fuzzy stuff out of the refrigerator or sorting piles of papers or paying bills or buying groceries or even just planning what needs to be done and making a list....or any of the other 427 jobs a mom is called upon to do.

So all of those things have to be done between 3:30, when I get home from picking the kids up from school, and 5:00, when I try to start dinner. Add in after-school snacks and homework, and it's a really tight squeeze. What about my Fridays off, you ask? Well, I volunteer in Jacob's classroom from 8:30 to 10:00, then come home, plan a menu (which generally takes me FOREVER because I can't ever come up with good ideas that will please a non-pasta-eating husband and that we're not desperately tired of), make a grocery list (which also takes me a fair amount of time), and go to the grocery store. I usually get home in time to unload the groceries, put them all away, grab a bite to eat, have a spare half hour or so, and then head back up to school to pick up the kids.

On Saturdays we do regular house cleaning, but that's also the day we have sports, birthday parties, haircuts, kid dates, occasional church activities....you know how it is. Not just a whole lot gets done around here on Saturdays either. Hence, my night-time weariness.

ANYHOO....that was huge digression drama. I apologize. What I was really trying to tell you is that I FINALLY finished the book!

And I'm not mentioning the fact that I kept avoiding it for days at a time because of how it made me feel like I'd been punched in the stomach. Conviction tends to do that to me.

Have you guys read it? It is a heavy hitter. I don't recommend reading it if you're not ready to hear from God.

Actually, maybe I'm the only one who needed the heavy-hitting.

The premise of the book is that the Christian church is failing in the mandate to give our lives away for the sake of Christ....to be His hands and feet to a hurting world. In other words, we are not living out the Red Letters - Christ's words. We (I) like to take our families to church, sing praise songs, put a few dollars - maybe even more than a few - in the offering, wear t-shirts with Christian slogans on them, go to Bible study, memorize scripture with our (my) kids....and stay in our (my) nice, safe comfort zones while the world around us (me) is dying. We are talking our Christianity without walking it.

I'm certainly no book-reviewer, but I will say I think he's right on the mark.

"What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well” — but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless." James 2:14-17 (NLT)

Please hear what I am saying. I am NOT saying I think every person who calls themselves a Christian is shirking their responsibility as a Christ-follower. What I do think is that the American church as a whole (including ME) has gotten comfortable in our well-protected, Christian-nation environment (including ME), and it gets really easy to think we (I) can just pray for someone and give an offering and everything will be alright. It can be ugly to get our (my) hands dirty by digging in and actually giving MY life away to serve the least of the least.

Read slowly and let these statistics soak in for a minute:

• 28 million children die from curable diseases each year

• 17 million children die from malnutrition and starvation each year

• 2.2 million children worldwide are living with HIV

• 33% of the world's population is malnourished....1/3 of the world. How can that be when we throw food away by the truckload in this country?

• 20% of the world's population has no access to clean water

• 10 million children are involved in the sex industry....children!!

• 100 million children in the world live on the streets

• 143 million children are orphans

No one can fix it all. But it's wrong to think that because we can't do it all - or can't even do a lot - that we should do nothing.

For a long time now, almost a year in fact, God has been repeating two words over and over and over to my heart.

Do something.

Do something.

Do something.

It's everywhere I turn. Books. Magazines. Sermons. Songs. Blogs. Fliers. TV. Seriously....EVERYWHERE....do something.

At times it's actually gotten humorous. I'm telling you, it's every.where. Even an investing seminar I went to.

For the longest time I kept asking, "What, God? Do what? If You'll just tell me what something You want me to to, I'll do it!"

Honestly sometimes God cracks me up. Although I'm sure He wasn't laughing at how dense I was being. One day not too long ago I came across this post by Amy at Building the Blocks. Did you catch it? It's there, at the end.

Do something. Anything.

Could God GET any clearer? (don't answer that)

Wanna know something? That question I kept asking God? The "what do You want me to do?" question? It was my ticket to doing nothing. See, I didn't know it at the time, but as long as I kept asking the question, I was avoiding the doing. I was so afraid of doing the wrong thing, or spending my money and efforts in the wrong place, that I did nothing.

Really....is there a wrong place to spend our efforts in helping someone who's hurting and in need? Is there a wrong someone to help? Is there a wrong time to be the hands and feet of Christ? I wanted God to lay it all out for me. I wanted Him to say, "This person, on this day, will need this sort of help from you. That's what I want you to do."

Or, "I want you to send this amount of money to this worthy cause on this day during this specific campaign."

What I didn't realize is that I didn't want to make a choice. I was overwhelmed by the enormous volume of need in the world. I didn't want to have to pick just one. I didn't want to have to decide that one need was more important than another, and thereby more in "need" of my help. I didn't want to choose wrong....and leave someone out in the cold.

But I think what God wanted was for me to get my duff out of my comfortable recliner and just do something. I have a friend who said to me some version of this: we have already been given the command to GO and to GIVE and to HELP those who are lost and hurting and in need. If we have the ability to do something, why would we need to pray about doing it?

No one can fix it all. But it's wrong to think that because we can't do it all - or can't even do a lot - that we should do nothing.

So guess what? I am doing something.

I have started - in very small, timid ways - responding to the situations I see around me. Not big things. Nothing I could write a book about. Or even an essay. Maybe just a sentence. But it's something. And I cannot begin to tell you how it feels. It is HUGE. My little tiny something is HUGE to me because it is my heart. And it's God's heart.

And I pray I will continue to do something for the "least of these" (Matt. 25:40) for the rest of my life.

Because you know what? I want to be Christ's hands and feet. I am the body of Christ, and I want to act like it. It is my deepest longing and desire to answer the call of Jesus and DO SOMETHING to serve and to minister and to help and to provide for those who are hurting and hungry and lonely and orphaned and in need. I want Him to be able to say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your master." (Matt. 25:21)

The book? Tom Davis was right on. Right. On. Truly, I highly recommend reading it. But be careful....you will never be the same.

And Thankful Thursday?

I'm so THANKFUL to my God for continuing to shove nudge me out of my comfort zone and into a life that looks a tiny bit more like my Savior. Someday I may just live a faith that bleeds.