Adorable.

Jacob came home from school on Friday with this:

Mom, i'm wanting to go on a moma-Jacob trip.
i'm looking forward to it.

Love.  That night when I was tucking him in bed, I asked, "What kind of trip did you have in mind?  Where do you want to go?"

He said, "Oh, I don't care.  Chuck E. Cheese....or....just anywhere.  I'm just wanting some quality time."

:)

A Day to Myself

So guess what I did on Friday?  It's a shocker - you better sit down.

I TOOK THE DAY OFF.

Can you believe it?  Me neither.  I felt guilty the whole day.

See, usually - for the past few years anyway - I've been off work on Fridays, but all this school year I've been working on Friday mornings.  The original intent was to try to earn a little extra money, but somehow it seems that just about every single week I end up missing a few hours of work here and there during the week for some reason or other, so pretty much all my Fridays have ended up being makeup time instead of extra time.

Oh, how I have missed my quiet, all-by-myself, do-whatever-I-want (even if that means grocery shopping and laundry) Fridays.

So last Friday, I took the day off!  I took the kids to school with no makeup.  In my slippers.  Oh yes I did.  Then I went home and made myself some BREAKFAST.  What a concept.

What to do with my wide-open day?  Ohh, the possibilities.

First, I spent a little time with Karen.

Oddly enough, I'm having a hard time getting into this book.  If you remember, I had never read any of Karen Kingsbury's books before my cruise, but I've loved every one of them I've read since.  This one's just not grabbing my attention.  Maybe because I have so many other books calling to me from the back of my mind.

After that I spent a little time with Stormie.

I love this book.  My copy is worn and highlighted and written in and dog-eared and paper-clipped and full of wisdom and conviction.  Have you read it (or any of her others)?  Love.

When Stormie and I were done, I went to volunteer my usual Friday time in the school office, and then I had lunch at school with Jacob.  That's always an adventure.  :)  There is one lunch monitor who is always so....well....just plain mean.  She is sweet as pie to adults - kind, helpful, friendly - but she talks ugly to the kids and never says a word without yelling at them and telling them how bad they're being.  I hate it.  I've hated it every year since Jacob was in first grade.  Every single time I go eat lunch with him, I start writing a letter to the principal in my mind.  But I'm sure you can guess it's never made it to paper.

I totally get that I have no idea what it's like to deal with that many kids every day - many of whom act ugly and disrespectful themselves.  TOTALLY get it.  But that's no reason to treat them that way even when they're not acting up.  Or really even when they are.  Meanness and yelling don't change kids' behavior.  In fact, it just makes them angry and resentful.  And there's no reason to presume they're going to act up and so be ugly to them from the get-go.  All I can think every time I eat lunch with Jacob is, "These are somebody else's kids.  You just don't treat other people's kids this way."  If you just don't LIKE kids....perhaps some career reconsideration is in order?

Sorry, where was I?  Oh yes, so after lunch I went home and started the crockpot.

I LOVE cooking in the crockpot.  I don't do it nearly enough.  Mainly because I can hardly ever remember to start it in the mornings.  But my day at home was a perfect day for it, and I was so happy to have dinner practically done!

Then, after getting dinner going, I remembered.....I had a 40% off coupon for Hobby Lobby!!  PERFECT!  I headed for Utopia HobLob, as we affectionately refer to it around here, and spent one whole blissful hour, all by myself, moseying and meandering and perusing to my heart's content.  I found a beautiful scrapbook album cover to use with my new Project Life system (that I've been wanting FOR.EV.ER. and asked for for my birthday...and Christmas...but didn't get, so I got one for myself!), and I was so happy to get to use my coupon for it!  I also bought another album cover that was on sale for 40% off, so it was a bonus!

And that was my happy, all-to-myself Friday.  Which, of course, only lasted until it was time to pick up the kids from school.  But still so totally counts in my book.

100 things.

Did you guys do slam books when you were in elementary school (or maybe junior high)? No?

Well, back in the olden days, before cell phones and ipods, we were forced to find entertainment with paper and pen. We would use yarn to tie together a small stack of notebook paper, then decorate the front page as a cover.  On the next page we would write a list of numbers down the left hand side. All your friends would choose a number and write their name beside it.

At the top of each of the other pages you would write a question, and your friends would answer the question next to their number.  Questions like, Who's your best friend?  What kind of music do you listen to?  What class do you love/hate most?  What's your favorite food?  And the all-time favorite...Who do you like? (!)

Ahhh, the good old days.

I LOVED slam books.  Loved making them, loved answering other people's questions, loved reading everyone else's answers.  And I also love those chain emails where you answer a bunch of questions and then forward it to all your friends. ;)  Maybe it's my ego.

Anyway, I've seen those "100 things about me" posts on a few people's blogs, and I love them!  Sort of like a modern-day, computer-age slam book.  And of course I wanted to join the fun.

So here's your chance to click away now.

****

****

Anyone still here?  Ok, let's get going!

101 Things About Me You Always Wanted to Know But Didn't Have a Slam Book to Ask Them In.

1. I was born in Colorado, but we moved to New Mexico when I was 6 months old.
2. My parents divorced when I was about 18 months old.
3. I have lived in four different states: Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, and Florida, then Texas again, New Mexico again, and back to Texas.  With many, many, many moves inside each of those states.
4. I hope to never move again.
5. I went to 8 schools by the time I was in the 8th grade. One of them two different times, so that might count as 9.
6. I hated moving so much. Hated always being the new kid in school. Just when I would make friends, we would move. Hated it. Hence #4.
7. We moved to New Mexico when I was in the 8th grade and, although we did move around the area several times, I never had to change schools again. Except to go from junior high to high school.
8. When we moved to New Mexico, I told my mom, “As soon as I graduate, I’m moving back to (the city where I live now). ” And I did. Been here ever since.
9. I don’t like change. At all. See #’s 4 and 6. And 8.
10. I’ve had the same job for almost 17 years. See #9.
11. I was engaged once before I met The Mister.
12. I am one of the LEAST picky eaters you will ever meet. I can only think of a couple of things I don’t like to eat. And….if it’s something I normally like, it’s hard to make it so bad that I won’t eat it.
13. Except, I really don't care for fruit. If it’s already washed, peeled, and cut up I’ll eat it, but it’s not my favorite.
14. Especially bananas.
15. I would love to buy all organic if it weren’t so stinkin’ expensive. Our grocery bill has gone up about 30% over the past year anyway thanks to the economy. Now we’re back to beans and weenies (not necessarily together).
16. I’m a CPA but I hate taxes. And I’m really bad at managing money. Go figure.
17. I love coffee. With lots of cream and sugar stevia.
18. You may not know that I actually invented the Frapaccino before Starbucks did. I just didn’t know that I should have named it and marketed it. :)
19. When I was 10 years old I visited Sea World for the first time (when we lived in Florida), and for the rest of my growing-up years I wanted to be a killer whale trainer when I grew up.
20. I held onto that dream until it actually came time to go to college, and I discovered that Texas A&M was the only school in Texas (at that time) that offered a major in Marine Biology. Even back then, I couldn’t bring myself to be an Aggie, and so gave up the dream. Hmm, marine biology to accounting – big switch, huh?
21. I never loved my major. Which is probably why I hate taxes and am not good with money. But I stuck with it because of #9.
22. It has turned out well, though. Being a CPA has allowed me to have a flexible, part-time work schedule and still be able to contribute to our family's income.
23. Because of that, I get to take my kids to school and pick them up every day, which I’m so thankful for.
24. My love of whales continues to this day, and I was beyond the realm of excitement when I got to play with the beluga whales at Sea World about 12 years ago. Like....in the water with them, giving them commands. Oh my heart.
25. I am an introvert to the max. MAX. I fake it pretty well, though, so most people don’t believe it.
26. I’ve never been good at sports. I played soccer for two seasons when I was about 7 or 8, but that’s it. I actually got a doctor’s note to get out of PE in junior high.
27. And I totally lied to get it.
28. Instead, I was a band geek. And loved every minute of it. Loved marching band. LOVED. Band gave me an instant family when I went to college. (did I mention I loved it?)
29. And that’s why I’m so excited Kloe has chosen to be in band, too. I hope she will love it as much as I did and stick with it.
30. I was drum major my senior year in high school.
31. I was in the band sorority in college.
32. I don’t own sunglasses. I wear glasses and am not able to wear contacts, so I can’t wear fun, cheap sunglasses. It’s expensive having to buy prescription ones, so I have to keep them a few years which makes them always out of style. I actually did buy a pair for my trip to Uganda, but they didn’t come in in time so I didn’t even get to take them with me. And now, would you believe I CAN’T FIND THEM!
33. My mom wanted to name me Samantha Diane, but my dad said no because “no daughter of his was going to be called Sam!” So my mom wanted Valerie Diane, but, um, well, yeah....thanks, Mom, for not giving me those initials. And so I ended up with Valerie Christine. Valerie means “strong” and Christine means “follower of Christ”. Love.
34. I’ve never had a broken bone.
35. I’ve never been in the hospital except to deliver my babies.
36. I’ve never had stitches except when delivering my babies. ;)
37. I interact best with children under the age of 5. It’s been tough going in our house for the last several years. :)
38. I never was much of a sweets-eater until Jacob was born.
39. I've totally made up for it since then.
40. My feet stay cold from October through April.
41. About half-way through a book, I often skip ahead and read the end, then go back and finish it the right way. I’m trying to get better about not doing this.
42. I read veeerryyy slow.
43. I am not crafty.
44. But I wish I was.
45. My favorite color is green. I used to have enough green clothes to fill an entire laundry load.
46. Beth Moore’s Bible studies have changed my life. Most especially “Believing God”. She taught me an amazing love for scripture and changed the way I read it. Changed. My. Life. For real.
47. I cried when I saw her in person in September. Not in some weird, groupie kind of way, but because of what I’ve learned from her about loving Jesus.
48. I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket (not to say I haven’t deserved one).
49. I talk to myself. Out loud. All the time.
50. I had finally just gotten the flossing thing DOWN before I got my braces on. But now I’m not doing it ever again until I get them off. Flossing with braces is HARD and takes FOR.EV.ER.
51. This is my 2nd round with braces.
52. I don't like to drive.
53. But I love to travel.
54. My favorite places to go are San Antonio and Uganda. :)
55. I’m secretly hoping to someday be on the staff of SixtyFeet.
56. I’m really bad at small talk. See #25.
57. I don’t like swimming. But, yes, I can swim.
58. I think the last time I took an actual bath in the tub was when I was pregnant with Kloe. (must be a water thing, huh?)
59. I’m 41 years old and still don’t know what I’m good at. Sigh.
60. Not cooking.
61. Not crafts.
62. Not homemaking.
63. Not money management.
64. Not photography.
65. But I love photography anyway.
66. I prefer the mountains over the ocean.
67. My new favorite ice cream flavor is tiramisu. Mmmm!
68. I love to help people. I love giving to meet physical needs more than giving money, and would rather help hands-on when I can, but love giving money when I can't help in person.
69. I’m pretty sure I’ve never owned a pair of white pants.
70. I get highly worked up over political issues. But avoid talking about it on my blog like the plague.
71. I don’t do sad endings. Period. And if you recommend a movie or a book to me, you better warn me if it has a sad ending.
72. Even without braces, I don’t like chewy, sticky, or gummy candy: jelly beans, gum drops, gummy bears, starburst, now-n-later, tootsie rolls, caramels, etc.
73. Or hard candy.
74. In fact, chocolate is probably the only candy I like.
75. My family knows to let me check the mailbox.
76. I love getting real mail.
77. I’ve seen on some old blogs that there was a “good mail” movement going around bloggy land a few years ago. I think we need to start it up again. Anyone? That would TOTALLY make my day year.
78. My “receiving” love language and my “giving” love language are not the same.
79. My “receiving” language is quality time. Did you know there are two different dialects of quality time? Mine is activities. NOT conversation.
80. My “giving” language is gifts. Can be bad at Christmas.
81. I love reconciling my bank statement.
82. Oh! That’s something I’m good at. :)
83. And 10-key. I do rock at 10-key by touch. (that means I can run an adding machine at the speed of sound without looking) :)
84. I’m an avid list maker. I add things to my list that I’ve already done just so I can feel the satisfaction of marking them off.
85. In Uganda I learned the joy of wearing skirts in the summer heat.
86. I’m not a big fan of jewelry. I wear some, but not much.
87. I took Spanish in junior high, and now can’t speak a word of it except the days of the week and counting to 20.
88. I’ve always wanted to learn sign language.
89. I wish I could find more time for blogging.
90. And scrapbooking.
91. The brothers you hear me talk about on my blog are not really my brothers, they’re my cousins.
92. I do have a half-brother and a step-brother, but I don’t have any interaction with them to speak of.
93. Or my two half-sisters.
94. I hate roller coasters. And flying.
95. I recycle.
96. I’ve never had anything pierced except my ears, and they’re pierced twice.
97. I would secretly like to have a tattoo on my foot. It would say “Believe” in Chinese.
98. I used to be a Creative Memories (scrapbooking supplies) consultant.
99. Now I sell Arbonne. But not actively.
100. I’ve been on two cruises and think they are hands-down the best vacation bang for your buck. So. Much. Fun.
101. I’m an extreme night owl. In fact, I’m probably actually nocturnal. :)

Anybody else wanna play?

Dear American Children....

No more complaining about your walk to school.
(article)

Bring Love to Life

I've been restless on the inside
Wondering about this heart of mine
I've been desperately trying to find
A way to prove that I'm still alive

Has the love I speak so loudly of quietly grown cold?

Has my life been an empty voice?
What I say needs to be seen.
I need to step out and make the choice
To let go of everything.

Would You reignite this heart spark here in the dark?

Bring Your love to life inside of me
Why don't You break my heart 'til it moves my hands and feet
For the hopeless and the broken
For the ones who don't know that You love them
Bring Your love to life inside of me

A generation You're calling out
Living everything that we sing about
A revelation right here and now
Of love beyond a shadow of a doubt
Love that's greater than our own
Won't remain unknown, when You...

Bring Your love to life inside of me
Why don't You break my heart 'til it moves my hands and feet
For the hopeless and the broken
For the ones who don't know that You love them
Bring Your love to life inside of me

Love come to life
Love come to life
Bring love to life inside of me


Love Come to Life
Big Daddy Weave

Five for Friday

I love those random, rambly kind of posts that really don't have any specific topic, but just sorta feel like you're sitting down with a friend over lunch and talking about your day. Even if it's a friend you've never met and have only stalked over the internet.

I'm not great at writing like that, but maybe I'll get better at it someday. Or...if you don't like those kinds of posts, I guess you'd think that was getting worse. :)

Until then, here's my own version of random ramblyness, otherwise known as Five for Friday.

1. The weekend after Jacob came home from the hospital, all three of the rest of us came down with the crud.  The Mister got over his pretty quickly, but Kloe and I had the same awful symptoms Jacob had - nasty cough and off-and-on fever.  I missed two days of work and Kloe missed 3 1/2 days of school.  I actually went to the doctor first, because I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.  Any guesses?  Pneumonia.  Ugh.
   
   You'd think I'd learn, but noooo.  Kloe's fever actually broke for a couple of days, and because of that I ended up not taking her to the doctor for A WEEK.  When we finally went, she was diagnosed with bronchitis.  I would be willing to bet, though (since I'm so good at the doctoring thing - sheesh) that since Jacob had pneumonia, and I had pneumonia, she probably had pneumonia too.
   
   While I was too sick to get off the couch, Jacob offered to make me dinner.  He made this menu for me to order from (because he got to order off a menu in the hospital).
   
   

   

   (Bagle, toast, milk, OJ, AJ (apple juice), toast w/sinimin-shuger)

   
   I placed my order (adding the option of cream cheese), and he brought my dinner on a tray. Cute. :)
   
   
   
   
   
2. Definitely the husband's job: Catching mice. Killing bugs. Checking out noises. And this....
   
   
   
   
   
3. Have any of you ever done this? I've tried so many times and it never works. The seed always just molds. Do you know the trick?
   
   
   
   
   
4. Stir fry. Mmmm.
   
   
   
   
   If you use the pre-cooked grilled chicken though, be sure you don't get this kind.
   
   
   
   
   Unless, you know, you like to go cross-cultural with your stir fry.
   
   
   
5. 
   
   

Happy Friday, friends!

Mommy guilt?

Pretty much every minute.
Of every hour.
Of every day.

Rushing out the door in the morning.  "You have GOT to hurry up! Do you know you're about to be tardy?"

Stern and uncaring when homework is forgotten.  "I'm sorry - that's your responsibility."

Thinking only of myself.  "Mom, can I have a friend over?" ... "No, not this weekend."

Late getting up in the morning.  Late getting them to school.  Late picking them up.  Late getting dinner on the table.  And then late to bed.

Again.

Which makes us late getting up in the morning.  Which makes us late for school....

Breakfast bar on the way out the door.

Bickering on the way home.

"Mom, can I have a snack?" 
"Oh, sorry, I forgot.  Well....now it's time for dinner."

Fast food again.

Haven't seen a vegetable on their plates since before the new year.

A child in the hospital, quite possibly because I didn't take him to the doctor FOR A WEEK.

And now the other, miserable in her bed because I haven't taken her to the doctor....and she's been sick FOR A WEEK.  My mom serving as babysitter, because I used my PTO for my own self when I was sick this week.

House a wreck.

Laundry piled.

Dishes dirty.

Dog unfed.

Bills unpaid.

Not paying close enough attention to the goings-on of middle school.  "A friend at school told you WHAT?!?"  Oh Lord, I'm not prepared to go there.

Impatient.  Unloving.  Unkind.  Harsh words.

Day 13 of 2012.  Two quiet times this month.  And that's more than last month.

Hide God's Word in their hearts?  Not since 2010.

No devotions.
No memory verses.
No kid dates.
No family nights.
No family outings.
Few family dinners.

And oh my goodness.....

I order school pictures and sports pictures every year.  They're stuck in a box. Haven't given them to anyone since Jacob was in preschool.

Christmas thank-yous?  May or may not ever get written.

School spelling bee?  Had to withdraw because we never practiced.

"Mom, I had to go down a level in math because I made a bad grade on the STAAR practice test." We never did the flash cards.

"Mom, I had to eat a cheese sandwich today because I have negative $11 in my lunch account."  I forgot to send money.  Again.

"Mom, will you play Legos with me?"  I can't right now.
"Mom, wanna watch this show with us?"  I've got to get dinner ready.
"Mom, can we go get ice cream?"  Not tonight.
"Mom, my tummy hurts."  You'll be fine.

"Mom....will you NOTICE ME?"

"Did you call about ballet classes yet?" No.
"Did you fill out that form I gave you last week?" Not yet.
"Did you fix my earring?"  No.
"Did you wash my uniform?" Umm...

And the look of disappointment that says, "I knew you wouldn't."

***

And then a friend posted this article on Facebook. 

And it made me cry.

But when I read this?  "But God gives just as much grace when I stand before my kids as He does when I kneel at the foot of the cross."

That made me cry the ugly cry.

From my bookshelf.

Wow, it's been a really long time since I posted about what I'm reading.  Probably because it takes me a really long time to read anything. :)  But the book I'm reading now has pulled me out of book-posting-semi-retirement.

BEST. BOOK. EVER.



Seriously, I can't remember when I've read a book that I have highlighted and starred and written in and underlined the way I have this one (and I do that a lot in books).  Like, I can't put it down at night, and I stay up way too late reading it the way I would a good novel.  Maybe it's just speaking to where I am right now (ya think?)  Of course, it didn't hurt that he mentioned Uganda in the 2nd paragraph.  It may not mean nearly as much to you, but OH MY.  I was crying by page 9.  :)  If you are wanting to go deeper in your faith, trust God for more than you ever have before, and walk with Him in a whole new way, I highly recommend this book.

The impetus for the book is one line that Steven Furtick (author) read in Jim Cymbala's book Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire:

I despaired at the thought that my life might slip by without seeing God show himself mightily on our behalf.

A few of my favorite, give-me-whiplash-from-nodding-my-head-so-hard quotes so far:

* Could it be that God intends for us to have the same kind of audacious faith [as Joshua] - the kind of faith that dares to believe God for the IMPOSSIBLE - as a normal way of life? (p. 15)
* How radically different would modern American youth culture be if we stopped raising our kids to survive their world and started empowering them with a vision to change it? (p. 33)
* ...the extraordinary presence and purpose of God will burn brightly in the life of anyone willing to be set on fire. (p. 44)
*When you reflect on God's vision for your life, you should be overwhelmed. (p. 72)
* Complacency isn't very comfortable in the presence of audacity. (p. 91)
* Authentic faith doesn't end in a positive mental state. (!) It plays out in total obedience based on the sure Word of God. (p. 117)

And I love this....
*The God of the Bible can do whatever He pleases. And what pleases Him is to show off His power for His glory and renown. So give Him the opportunity. Dream God-worthy dreams. Pray faith-fueled prayers. Live a life that can be explained only by the existence of a God who is infinitely great. (p. 99)

Man.

I think when I'm done I may read it again.

And if I ever get beyond this book, look at the stack that I have waiting for me...

*grin*

I'm sure I'll throw a couple of fiction titles in the mix there somewhere, so hopefully I can manage to complete this stack before I turn 50.

I got a great idea from Holly over at Marathon Bird to keep a list of all the books you read this year. Isn't that fun? I usually have a list of books I WANT to read....and the kids and I usually keep a list of the books they read in the summer....but I thought it would be fun to keep a list of the books I read this year. I'm sure it will be a dismally short list, but still fun. Hoping to get one up in my sidebar soon. :)

What are you reading?  What do you hope to read this year?

I’m a girl who loves a good New Year’s resolution. Why, I don’t know exactly, because I almost never keep them. I guess they let me feel like I have a chance to start over and do all the things I WISH I would do every day, but never do. *sigh*

Last year I decided I would skip the resolutions and instead jump on the “one word” band wagon, where you choose one word to focus on and center life around for the year. (hahaha - laughing because last year I said I hate New Year's resolutions. :) Apparently I can't make up my mind.)

Well.

After praying and thinking and praying and pondering....I never really came up with a word. Oh, I had a couple that swam around in my head for a while, but nothing ever really stuck. So in the end I wound up with no resolutions (which I probably wouldn’t have kept anyway) and no word. Boo.

So now I’m back at it again. At least I can say I keep trying, huh? :)

But this year, the word (or words, as the case may be) sort of found me. Remember, oh, about 3-ish years ago or so when I started seeing and hearing the phrase “Do Something” everywhere I turned? DoSomethingDoSomethingDoSomething. (Anyone besides me old enough to remember the old Mervyn’s Black Friday commercials where the lady was standing with her face and hands pressed up against the window at Mervyn’s going, “Open. Open. Open.”? I digress.)  It's sorta been like that again.

For the past few months, my constant heart’s cry to God has been, “I want to be different!” I want my home to be different (better organized, filled with peace, a sanctuary for my family); I want my family to be different (more focused on loving God and His Word, more focused on giving and serving others); I want my marriage to be different (nuff said); I want my SELF to be different – oh, let me count the ways. I just want to BE DIFFERENT.

Finally, one day a couple of weeks ago, it dawned on me that I had been repeating this mantra to God over and over for weeks, “I want THIS to be different and I want THAT to be different and I want THIS OTHER THING to be different….I just want to BE DIFFERENT!” And – dingdingding! – there’s my word (phrase) for the year.

BE DIFFERENT.

Now, there’s being discontent, and then there’s being discontent. I don’t think this is the bad kind of being discontent. Paul said, “I have learned in all things to BE CONTENT…”, but I don’t think that means being stagnant. Sometimes (a lot of times) we need to change. And sometimes (a lot of times) we (I) need a kick in the pants to get us moving. I think this discontentment I’ve been having is the kind I need to spur me on to make some changes.

And here’s the thing. I’ve wanted to make most of these changes – be different in these ways – for a long time. But just like my New Year’s resolutions, they never “took”. Either I never did anything about them in the first place, or if I did try, I never stuck with it.

I'm not saying that this is going to be the year when I will somehow magically be able to keep a resolution to Be Different. *grin* What I am saying, is that this is my prayer. It’s been my prayer for weeks, and now it will be my prayer throughout the year.

I want to be different.

What does that mean exactly? Not sure. But here’s what I do know.

• I want to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

• I want to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and love my neighbor as myself.

• I want to “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.” Isaiah 1:17.

• I want to do a better job of teaching my children to love God…to KNOW Him, not just ABOUT Him. To talk about Him when we sit at home and when we walk along the road, when we lie down and when we get up. To tie His word on our hands and bind them on our foreheads. To write them on the doorframes of our house and on our gates (and on the tablets of our hearts). Deut. 6:7-9

• I want to “Do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk,” and to “spend [myself] in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,” so that “[my] light will rise in the darkness, and [my] night will become like the noonday.” Then "the LORD will guide [us] always; He will satisfy [our] needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen [our] frame. [We] will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."  Is. 58:9b-11

• I want to GO and SERVE and GIVE and teach my children to do the same.

• I want our family to love God, serve Him with all our hearts, and bring honor to Him in all we do.

Last year I loved loved loved this post by Missy over at It’s Almost Naptime. She reposted it this week, and I loved it even more.

And since reading it again, I’ve expanded my prayer to Be Different with this prayer: “God, I want to do something this year that will make people think I’m crazy!”

I can't wait to see what God has in store.  Let the craziness begin!

We're home!

See that top number up there?  That number was Jacob's oxygen saturation on Monday.  And that number - if it hangs around for a while - means you get to go home.  :)

Sunday night was SOOO much better than Saturday night.  I'm pretty sure Jacob and I both slept through the entire night.  I have a vague, foggy memory of the respiratory therapist coming in at one point and telling Jacob to turn over so she could give him his breathing treatment, but that's ALL I remember, because....

NO ALARMS! (praise God!)

and....

NO crying baby next door!  (thank goodness!)

and....

If anyone else besides the RT came in during the night, they were VERY QUIET! (thank You, Jesus!)

About 6:45 Monday morning, I was startled awake by the nurse very firmly saying, "MOM." (that would be me)

She said, "Sometime during the night Jacob pulled his oxygen off."  Ohmygosh! I bolted up in the bed cot.

"But," she said, "his oxygen is at 95 (!), so I'm just going to leave it off and see how he does."

And just like that....the emergency was over.  It was the weirdest thing.

Jacob's oxygen level continued to stay between 91 and 96 all day, without receiving any extra oxygen, and we got to come home around 4:00.

Jacob and Kloe and I went out for a walk around the hospital Monday afternoon while we were waiting to go home, and just happened to run into Jacob's regular pediatrician, Dr. Gray (remember, he had been out of town?).  He said that the attending doctor from the hospital (Dr. Thompson, WE LOVE YOU!!!) had called him when he got back into town, and he had come up to the hospital just to check on Jacob.  See, I told you he's the greatest. :)

Well, it just so happens that Dr. Gray knows Dr. Thompson very well, works with her in several different capacities, and highly respects her work!  He said if he could have hand-picked anyone to care for Jacob, it would have been her.

Anyway, we were talking about all that had happened, how they couldn't really figure out what was causing all this, and how they'd finally diagnosed it as "Atypical Pneumonia" - which apparently is the diagnosis when it LOOKS like pneumonia and ACTS like pneumonia, but the chest xray is clear and they've ruled out everything else.  He said he agreed with that diagnosis and that the good thing is that atypical pneumonia responds very quickly to azithromycin (antibiotic).

Well, it just so happens that just in case that's what it was, the hospitalist (Dr. Thompson) had started Jacob on azithromycin on Sunday afternoon.  Yes, I would say it responded pretty quickly!  Less than 24 hours after starting it, he was a new kid!  In less than 24 hours, he was completely off oxygen, without being weaned off, and was almost back to his old self.  I was in shock.  Good shock.

Y'all, I am just so amazed at God through all of this.  I know this was such a small thing compared to what some people face every day, but even so, God made Himself SO very evident in every. single. step. of this journey.  From the moment those blue fingernails scared the bajeebers out of me, to that last conversation with our pediatrician. I am more thankful and awe-filled than I can even say.  So, so thankful.

********************************************************

p.s.  Guess what?  One of the papers they sent us home from the hospital with listed warning signs to be on the lookout for....you know, the "call your doctor immediately if...." list.  The last item on the list?  Blue fingernails.

Bringing home Mareto

Oh my goodness, this is one of the most beautiful adoption videos I've ever seen. I cried and cried through this video...and I don't even know these people. :) Grab a tissue and watch....

A New Year's Eve to Remember

Your love, Oh Lord, reaches to the heavens.

Your faithfulness stretches to the sky.

Your righteousness is like the mighty mountain.

Your justice flows like the ocean's tide.

And I will lift my voice

to worship You, my King.

I will find my strength

in the shadow of Your wings.

~ Third Day

Christmas morning (Sunday) Jacob woke up with that nasty, seal-barky kind of cough. As the day went on though, it seemed to clear up and even go away completely. Thought maybe it was...well, I dunno, just a weird something-er-other.

On Monday morning, he woke up with that same cough again. This time he coughed and coughed and coughed all. day. long. But the seal-barky-ness (actual medical term) went away and it was mostly just a dry, hacking cough.

Monday night I went in to check on him around midnight, and he was just moaning and moaning in his sleep. I felt his head and sure enough, he was burning up.

Tuesday I stayed home from work with him, and he continued to run fever all day, cough his little head off, and generally feel awful, so I took him to the doctor (for the cough, mind you) on Wednesday. He tested positive for strep, and that seemed to be the end of it as far as the doctor was concerned (not our regular doctor, mind you. HE, of course, would have been MUCH more diligent. ;)) She said, "Whelp, he has strep." And that was that.

Ok, he'd had no symptoms of strep, but I know sometimes it can be sneaky.

I asked, "Um, what about his cough?"

She said, "It's probably just from the drainage and the swelling. It should clear up in a few days."

I was completely unconvinced that it would, but who am I to argue with a doctor, right?

Well guess what. It didn't. He continued to cough his everlovin head off, lie listlessly on the couch, and run fever throughout the day Wednesday, Wednesday night, all day Thursday, and Thursday night. We kept asking him over and over, "Does your throat hurt? Does your head hurt? Does your chest hurt when you cough? Does anything hurt?" He kept saying no, no, no, nothing hurts, but "I'm just so tired."

Sick, sick little boy. :(

He was mis.er.able. during the night Thursday, coughing and moaning and whimpering, sweating like crazy...just all around MISERABLE. I decided I would take him back to the doctor on Friday.

For the cough.

But then, on Friday morning he woke up feeling better! Not WELL, but better. His fever seemed to be breaking, he was sitting up, having conversations, laughing at TV. I thought ok, maybe he's starting to get better.

Friday night was worse than Thursday night. In fact, I stayed up almost the entire night just sitting by him, trying to keep his head elevated a little to help with the cough, toweling him off when he got soaked from the sweating....it was another looong and miserable night. During the night something happened that convinced me we were going to the doctor on Saturday no matter how he felt....I noticed his fingernails were tinted blue.

Scared. the. bajeebers. out of me.

Saturday morning was just like Friday. He seemed to be feeling a little better, fever was down, talking more, blah blah blah. I almost changed my mind about the doctor. But PRAISE GOD He wouldn't let that little niggling in the back of my mind go away. (Praise #1) Thinking about the fact that everywhere would be closed on Sunday, or for that matter much after noon on Saturday, I finally dragged myself around and started getting ready to go.

By the time we were ready to leave, Jacob was lying on the couch again, running fever, and quickly heading back to a state of miserableness. I picked him up (all 51 pounds, 4 feet 3 inches of him) and carried him to the car.

We went to the only clinic I could find open - one I don't particularly love - and sat in the waiting room for about an hour and a half. The whole time I prayed, "God, please let us get a doctor who will take this seriously, who will listen and pay attention and not just blow this off." Because THAT would be the reason I don't particularly love that particular clinic in the first place.

When it was finally our turn, the nurse put an oxygen monitor on Jacob's finger, and as she asked questions and typed info in the computer, she calmly kept glancing at the number on the monitor. Finally, she got up, said, "That number's just not going up," and left the room.

A few seconds later the doctor walked in with a determined, focused look on her face, looked at the monitor, and started listening to Jacob's lungs. She asked me about 2 questions, almost not waiting for my answers, moved to the computer, moved back, and said, "I'm gonna go ahead and call an ambulance."

Um, WHAT?

She continued explaining "oxygen on the way there" and "his body working too hard" and something something something. I don't remember anything else she said. It was sort of like how the adults sound on Charlie Brown.

Because my mommy ears stopped functioning properly at "ambulance".

I would say she took us seriously. :) Praise #2.

For one brief moment I felt it coming. The panic. The fear. The tears. I really thought I was going to break down right there while the doctor was explaining what was going on.

And then I just....didn't. I thought, "No, STOP, I'm not going to do this." And I didn't. If you know me very well at all, you know that is huge for me. Huge. It wasn't a big, dramatic, spiritual-fight moment where I was frantically grasping for that peace I claim Jesus gives me (like usual)....I just stopped. Praise #3. God was so gracious.

And in the blink of an eye - a blink - the EMTs were in the room. (Praise #4) Like, I almost wondered if they'd actually driven there or if they just stay at the clinic all the time. And just about as soon as one EMT started talking to Jacob, there were suddenly three FIREMEN walking in! (Does the fire department respond to ambulance calls where you live, too?) When I saw them I started to panic a little. Just for a second. But then they left, and I was good.

The EMTs were so calming and reassuring and all-around awesome. The ambulance was in terrible need of some new shocks, but otherwise awesome. :D If it hadn't been so scary, I think Jacob would have thought it was really cool. :)

Yes, I took a picture in the ambulance.  Does that mean I'm a bad mom?

When we got to the ER (which is actually called ED now, did you know that?) we were whisked right into a room, greeted by three (!) wonderful, kind, attentive hospital staff (2 nurses and a clerical person), and well....the whole experience was wonderful. If an ED visit can be wonderful.

Between the clinic, the ambulance, and the ED, Jacob received four breathing treatments and two rounds of steroids. Nothing was budging his blood oxygen level, so they decided to admit him to the hospital. Poor, sweet baby, he was so scared. :(

And so Jacob rang in the new year with a toast of 4 liters of oxygen per minute, an O2 monitor and an IV port.

E.T. anyone? :)

And I am praising God that he did! WHAT if I had not taken him to the doctor yesterday?! (Praise #5)

Whew! I just thought Thursday and Friday nights were rough! Last night we had his O2 alarm going off what felt like every 30 minutes, nurses and residents and respiratory therapists coming in at ALL hours of the night taking vitals, listening to his lungs, changing his oxygen, putting him on a mask.... Good grief!

So...here's the low down. They don't know what caused it. Well, yes, it was whatever virus he had last week, but they don't know WHY it caused such a bad reaction. He doesn't have asthma, his lungs are clear, no wheezing, no pneumonia, chest x-ray is good... They can't find any reason for his low oxygen.

And it's still low. Even right now he's getting 3 liters of O2 per minute, and his saturation rate is only 89% (it was 84% at the clinic yesterday - should be 100). They've done bloodwork and an x-ray and a viral panel, and everything they test for is negative. Which is GOOD, but....

The doctor says we can't go home until Jacob's saturation rate stays above 92 for EIGHT HOURS while receiving no oxygen. Right now we can't keep it above 92 for eight SECONDS without receiving oxygen. (ok, maybe a minute or two)

He is feeling SO much better, was joking and laughing hysterically at his sister today, and even got up and went for a walk, but we just can't keep his O2 rate up.

Would you pray for him? He looks healthy, he feels good, but something's just not working the way it's supposed to. It could just be that his body got so worn down during the time he was sick last week that it's taking some time to recover. I'm praying that's it, and that God will strengthen him and restore him. We're HOPING we'll get to go home tomorrow.

In the meantime, he's eating up all the attention he's getting here. He actually gets to order his meals off a menu from room service. He's been having a blast with the electric bed (up and down and up and down, feet up, head up, feet down....) He gets to watch non-stop Phineas and Ferb and Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner. My mom brought him a whoopie cushion (ohmygosh) and he's received balloons from two family members. What more could a boy want? ;)

I think we're on the downhill side, but please pray the Lord will fill up Jacob's lungs and saturate his blood with oxygen, and then strengthen his body to maintain it.

We've been so blessed by all of our wonderful friends and family. I've received text after text and phone call after phone call from friends offering their love, help, support, and prayers. You all can't know how much that means to us and how much it helps me stay at peace. I'm SO very thankful for every one of you!

********************************************

P.S. Another gift from God just for me? Look who's right outside the door to Jacob's room :

*Smile*