Going to the chapel.

Look at me, blogging twice in one week. If I’m not careful, this could become a habit.

Two weeks ago this past Wednesday, I was standing at my kitchen sink doing the dishes when my phone rang. It was my dear friend Tammi, who I’ve known for over 16 years, and who is a kindergarten teacher at a local Christian school. She said, "We want you to come talk about your trips to Uganda during chapel at school!" She was SO excited, and I could tell she expected me to be, too.

My immediate, emphatic, and serious response was "NO."

For real.

Tammi was shocked, "What?! Why not? You have to! You LOVE Uganda! This is a chance for you to talk about what you did and the people there that you love!"

Yes, I love Uganda, thanks, but NO, I will not stand on a stage in our (very large) church and talk in front of all those people! Thank You, God, for the opportunity, but no thanks. Ha - I'm so dumb.

Tammi and I argued and argued and argued about it, like only the best of friends can do, until finally she said, "Well, you pray about it and let me know tomorrow what you decide."

Almost immediately when I got off the phone, God reminded me of the verse that says, “Whoever can be trusted with little can also be trusted with much." (Luke 16:10) He said, “Valerie, I’m giving you this opportunity. Can you be trusted with little? Are you going to turn this down when you’ve asked Me over and over again to give you opportunities to do something more for Uganda?” Sheesh.

I thought about the letters I painted to help raise money for Ebenezer. Little. I thought about the jewelry sale and auction I did for them. Little. Both of those were time consuming and frustrating in their own way, but I stuck it out. I wanted to be trusted with the little.

And I felt like maybe God was giving me this opportunity to take a tiny step forward on the path, traveling from "little" toward the general direction of "much". Sigh. But did it have to be something so hard? (Why I thought it would be anything less, I have no idea.) I H.A.T.E. speaking in front of people. Did you know that the fear of death is the SECOND most common fear people have? Do you know what #1 is?

Public speaking. Mmm-hmm. Hence my immediate "no" to Tammi's invitation.

Long Short story short, I called Tammi the next day and reluctantly told her I would do it. Tammi had a great idea that she could be on the stage with me, and we would do the presentation more like an interview. Whew! That made it SOO much better. It put my mind at great ease, and I actually started to get a little excited about it.

Tammi had assured me there was no reason to be nervous, because after all, I would be speaking to pre-k through 3rd graders. “Yes, and teachers and parents!” I said. She said, “Oh no, there’s only 5 (I think that’s what she said) classes (meaning only 5 teachers) and only a few parents come to chapel.”  She totally lied.

When I walked into the church Wednesday morning, the sanctuary was PACKED!! Ok, not packed. But we have a pretty large sanctuary, and it was at least half full. There were TONS of parents there. Tons. Including one of our local news anchors (his child goes to school there). Not to mention a TOUR GROUP of visitors from South Korea! What?!

Seriously. You people have no idea how much I hate this. Tammi simply cannot FATHOM why this is so hard for me. She is just about as sanguine as they come and has no concept.

But I fought down my urge to bolt, and sucked it up and got up on that stage. In the end, Tammi had ended up emailing me a list of 12 questions that the kids themselves had come up with. The kids (and Tammi) sat on the stage with me, and as I answered their questions, I did a slide show of pictures that went along with the answers.

And you know what?

I had fun.

Don’t tell anyone. :)

God gave me the opportunity to tell probably 200 (?) people about my love for Uganda! Are you kidding me? Yes, I was petrified. But God totally came through, and after the first little kindergartener asked me his question, the Holy Spirit filled me with total peace (John 14:27), and I was able to sit on that stage, reminisce about my lovely Uganda, and tell people what God allowed me to do there.

Amazing.

God is good. (and patient)

“Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway.” ~ John Wayne