Where to begin?

I. Hate. Blogger.

I had just about finished an entire blog post about my trip and Blogger ERASED the whole thing! Oh. My. Gosh. Makes me not even want to try to recreate it. But I know I'll regret it if I don't.

Sigh.

So, here I go. Let me see if I can remember....

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Every time I start to consider writing about my trip to Uganda, I get overwhelmed and think maybe I would be a little more coherent after I've had some more rest. But after almost a week back home, I feel neither more coherent nor more rested, so I decided I might as well just jump in, as I know my adoring public awaits. (*wink*) ;)

Let's start at the very beginning....a very good place to start. :) {a little Sound of Music, anyone?}

As the time for my trip got closer and closer, I began to get more and more nervous about going. You know how when something really sad happens, and you wake up in the mornings just fine, but then suddenly you remember and the sadness slams into you again? That’s what would happen to me. Starting a couple of weeks before I left, I would wake up every morning feeling fine, and then suddenly I would remember it was only X number of days until my trip, and I would feel like someone punched me in the stomach, my heart would POUND, and I would cry in my heart, “Oh God, I don’t want to go!”

I know. Crazy. Because I’d been dreaming of Africa for 8 years. (isn’t that a movie?)

Fear. It’s one of the enemy’s greatest tools. I’m so thankful that many months ago my team leader, Kari Gibson, told me to “Do it afraid”. Her words gave me the courage to keep pressing forward.

On the day I left, there was silence in the truck on the way to the airport. All four of us were nervous and worried. When the Mister started to pray for me, I started to cry and couldn’t stop. Since they couldn’t go into the airport with me anyway, the Mister parked in the unloading lane and we said our goodbyes there. Kloe and Jacob helped me pull my luggage inside, and all three of us were crying. As I hugged them goodbye, Kloe was sobbing and clung to me so tightly I literally had to peel her off of me. I said, "Baby, you have to let go. I have to go now." And she sobbed, "I don't want to! I don't want you to go!" It was horrible. Horrible. The two of them walked out of the airport crying. My heart was breaking. It makes me cry again just remembering.

By God's grace I made it through check-in and security without breaking down, and when I got to the gate my flight was already boarding! That turned out to be such a blessing, because there was no time for me to sit and ponder. As the plane started to take off I thought, “I’m going to Africa. I’m going to Africa! I can’t believe I’m actually on my way to Africa.”

I had been reading Kay Warren’s book Dangerous Surrender (which I highly recommend, by the way) in preparation for my trip. In God’s amazing irony, He had it planned that when I opened the book about halfway through that first flight and began reading at the spot where I had previously left off, these were literally some of the first words I read:

"As I sat in the 747's window seat, looking down at the tarmac, it occurred to me that none of the airport crew members scurrying to finish their tasks had any idea of how momentous this flight was for me in my journey of surrender to God's agenda. I wanted to shout it out to everyone: 'I'm going to Africa!'"

Isn't God the coolest? :)

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To be continued.....